I am still sick. I have been pushing myself to get things done, run errands, get to an appointment, etc., that I have not been able to just rest. I have a fever, and have had one the last few days. I really don't want to do anything but lay under some blankets while falling in and out of sleep. My life just does not allow me to ever be able to do that.
I desperately want to not run today. It is only a 30 minute run, but my body has no desire to exert any energy for it. I arrive in just over 3 weeks...I cannot quit now. But it is an idea I am toying with today. And as I continue to toy with it, I am reminded of a saying I heard earlier this year: running = free therapy. I never looked at it that way before, but I fully agree. So even though I am sick, I am wondering if I really want to skip out on my therapy session. Let me explain this a bit futher....
Do you ever have problems in your life you just dwell on? They play over and over again in your mind, filling your head with doubt and worry, leaving you wondering if you will ever be able to move past it. Yes? No? Well, I do. But something happens when I run...all those problems disappear. I might try to think about those things so I can see how I will word my response. But maybe 30 seconds later, it all goes away. If I try to turn my mind back to it, it disappears yet again. I finally realized that my mind does not want to focus on those things during a run. All I can think about is the run itself. I think about how I am performing, I think about pushing myself to do more, I think about how satisfied I will feel when I finish. Sometimes I think about the race. Sometimes I pay attention to the lyrics of the songs I am listening to. Sometimes I think of nothing at all. But I never, ever think about the problems. It is like I am physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to do it while on a run.
For that brief moment while running outdoors, I feel like I am in my own world where the problems don't exist. I feel like all is right with the world. I feel like I have been heard.
Running = free therapy.
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